Monday, December 20, 2010

Confessions of a Young Prophet

Parshat Sh'mot
18 Tevet 5771 / Dec. 24-25, 2010
Shmot 1:1 – 6:1

Confessions of a Young Prophet
by Zvi Bellin, MHHQ

I am so furious at G-d! I am talking fed up, volcanic, hella A-N-G-R-Y with the Lord of Hosts! Oh, You have a new name now, “I will be what I will be.” Well, I will tell You what I won’t be – the Savior of Israel. That is what I won’t be. I am a man of action. When I saw that Egyptian pig whipping my own flesh and blood, I did not hesitate to turn the suffering around. I am not proud that I killed him, but I couldn’t just stand by. Not anymore. And when those beastly shepherds were giving my lovely Tzipporah and her sisters trouble in Midian, I took action. I shut them up good and drew water for the ladies’ plump sheep. (Don’t think I don’t know about my family’s history when it comes to women, wells, and love.) But G-d, you are asking too much now.

I am good with my fists, but not with my words. And now I’ve pulled my brother Aaron into this mess. I just don’t know how to stand up to Pharoah. How can I gain the nation’s trust? Thank you G-d for the signs and all. The staff to snake trick, and the hand of leprosy healing act. And of course, turning Nile river water to blood. That helped get some of Israel to believe that You sent me to save them. But, look what happened. I talked to Pharoah and he increased their labor beyond any person’s physical capabilities. It is just not fair. Why did you send me to fail?

I get that I have no choice in the matter. You’ve already told me to suck up my complaints and accept my responsibility. I am not sure if I can trust You, not sure how to trust you. But I want to. I know that my people can live freely. We can go back to our homeland and live as our own masters again. I have nothing to offer except for passion, a faulty tongue, and shaky faith. If that works with You, then I guess it will have to work for me. Alright, it’s time to go see Pharoah again. Please G-d, don’t desert me.


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