Monday, November 12, 2012
Parshat Toldot
Bereshit 25:19 – 28:9
3 Kislev 5773 / Nov. 16 – 17, 2012
Bereshit 25:19 – 28:9
3 Kislev 5773 / Nov. 16 – 17, 2012
An Evil Twin is Born
by Zvi Bellin, MHHQ
by Zvi Bellin, MHHQ
I believe that this Parsha contains one of the
earliest recorded existential conflicts. Here is the scene (Bereshit Chapter
25).
Esav, a young burly red-headed hunter returns from a strenuous hunt. He did not find any prey on this particular day and is feeling very hungry. He walks into his home and smells something delicious. An aromatic red lentil stew, his younger brother’s special recipe, is simmering on the fire. Esav wants some of that soup!
Esav: Pour into me some of the red-stuff for I
am exhausted!
Yaacov: You want my soup? Trade me your status
as the first-born!
Esav: Well, I am going to die anyway, so
of what use to me is a birthright?
Esav swears his first-born birthright over to
his little brother. (Yep they are twins, but Esav came out first. If you know
twins, or are a twin, the fact that one came out first can be quite an
issue!)And the rest is history – the children of Yaacov and the children of
Esav become eternal archetypal enemies. Not so wonderful!
Growing up I always learned about Esav as the
“evil twin.” He terrorized his brother and was stupid to sell his birthright –
he got the “short end of the stick” that what was coming to him. This year, the
response of Esav really jumped out at me in a way that I could very much
relate.
“Well, I am going to die anyways, so of what
use to me is a birthright?”
Personally, I ebb and flow in my ability to
see the world as a meaningful place and thus my engagement in the world also
can sometimes feel void of purpose. Experiencing life as meaningful takes
practice and is not a simple given. The narrative of Yaacov and Esav seems to
take place in their adolescence. Can we actually condemn a teenager for stating
the obvious truth – Nothing lasts forever, so why should I strive for success?
Think back to when you were a teen (or maybe just last Tuesday), it is quite
natural to wrestle with this perspective.
So was Esav a boor or just someone who tended
towards existential conflicts of meaning? Being a hunter, Esav knows that the
world can seem quite random. On the hunt, you win some, you lose some. There is
not an exact reason why a swooping bird catches this rodent and not the one
next to it. Perhaps Esav, in that moment was taken by this fact – even with a
G-d in the world, things seem to just happen.
Introducing the perspective of the existential
into this portion we see a dichotomy between a “Yaacov way” of looking at the
world and an “Esav way” of looking at the world. On the one hand the world is
full of meaning that lasts beyond the life of one individual. The blessings
from the past generations impact the present, and the actions of those in the
present will shape the direction of the future. On the other hand, we are stuck
in the finiteness of life. There is no continuity in the random unfolding of
one generation to the next – Who will die, who will live? Who will be
remembered? Who will be forgotten?
Un/fortunately, I think about these topics way to much (www.meaningthroughebing.com) and here is my short
answer to this complicated dilemma. Both perspectives are absolutely valid (and
there are many positions in between!) We can become skillful in knowing when to
embrace the meaningfulness of a moment versus when we might tone down our own
self-importance. For example, when your commitment at work results in the decay
of your social relationships – it is time to evaluate the real meaning of your
work. On the contrary, if you are having trouble making a decision, you might
tap into your passions and intentions and remember that to live fully is to
make choices that appear meaningful in a particular moment.
This week, I feel bad for Esav. Not only does he struggle to see
his life as meaningful, but his shallow self-esteem is affirmed by his parents
choosing his younger brother over him. We see that this begins a chain reaction
whereby he chooses a wife that will specifically antagonize his father (28:9).
His father, Isaac, was once Esav’s biggest fan. I want to suggest that this
Parsha teaches us an important lesson about how we can affirm or aggravate the
sense of meaning of another person. As we see in
the story of Esav, it can be the meaning of those closest to us that are
impacted most deeply by our actions and attitudes towards them.
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